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About Calgary

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I finna share my fav spot. Head over to the east end, near Fisherman’s Wharf (yep, it's real!). The vibe is zenlike, like you’re in a secret hideaway. I honestly get choked up sometimes; this city wears its scars like medals. It's maddening at times—dang, I got so many thoughts. I mean, who wouldn’t be ticked when bureaucrats mess with its heart?

Owen Sound Remembers